The importance of a Mom Community

Introduction

I am Melisa Thomas, a maternity and newborn photographer on the Eastside. I myself am a mother and it has changed me in more ways than I ever expected. It has shown me both the most beautiful and the most vulnerable parts of myself. Somewhere between the sleepless nights and the overwhelming love, I learned something I didn’t fully understand before. Motherhood was never meant to be done alone. This is why finding a mom community has become so important to me, not only for my mental health, but for the kind of mother and friend I want to be.

The Need for a Mom Community

In 2024 I became a mother, and my love for a community grew exponentially. As most mothers know, being a mom is one of the most fulfilling jobs, yet it can feel incredibly lonely at times. At the beginning of motherhood, I found it difficult to accept help. I used to think that being a good mom meant doing everything on my own.

After feeling like I was drowning between the feedings, sleepless nights, laundry, cooking, etc., I noticed my mental health truly began to plummet. Along with my Postpartum Anxiety, I felt alone and lost. I no longer felt like this strong, independent super mom that I wanted to prove that I was. I just felt alone.

The moment I started accepting help, I began to feel more like myself. By receiving help, I was more capable of doing things that mattered in my child’s life. Allowing a trusted friend to watch my son while I slept for 30 minutes helped me feel more awake and ready to play and be present with him.

You don’t need to be going through motherhood alone. With a community, you can be stronger by accepting help and giving you opportunities to help others in return.

Support and Understanding from a mom community

As a first time mother, there are first-times for everything — the first cold, first tooth, first sleep regressions, starting solids, and everything else in between. With community, I didn’t have to go through these stages alone. My son recently reached 15 months, and with that milestone his big emotions have truly started to take over. One day, he ended up throwing one of his toy cars at me out of anger. In the moment, I truly felt defeated. I wasn’t sure how to help my son manage his emotions but I felt embarrassed to ask friends. However, after building the courage, I asked a couple of friends if their kids had gone through something similar. The immediate responses I received were incredibly validating. All my friends said that their kids had gone through similar phases, and they shared ways to redirect the behavior. I gained many new insights, but I also realized that I had no reason to be embarrassed in the first place.

My point in sharing my story is this: you are not alone, nor do you have to go through motherhood alone.

Having a Mom Community Improves Mental Health

Finding a mom community has greatly improved my mental health. When I was freshly postpartum, I quickly realized that my schedule looked very different from those who didn’t have children. Especially as a stay-at-home mom, whenever I was free, my friends were working. After feeling trapped in my apartment, I decided I needed to get up and do something, even if it meant a trip to the grocery store just to walk around by myself. While I was there, I began to notice mothers all around me pushing strollers and walking alone. That’s when I thought, what if we didn’t have to be doing these things alone? I built up the courage to start talking to other moms I saw while running errands, and I ended up making lots of friends. By having face-to-face interactions with friends once a week, my mental health significantly improved. Finding other moms in the same situation helped me feel less alone. Now, we are there for each other in so many different ways — from sending texts during nighttime feedings to going to the mall together. Having friends who support you truly makes life so much easier.

Become a “Villager”

You may have heard the quote, “it takes a village,” and to me that has been especially true in motherhood. However, I have learned that you won’t have a village until you become a villager yourself. Friendships are not meant to be a one-sided relationship. It takes love and action from both ends. When I was about 4 months postpartum, I was truly in the newborn trenches. If it weren’t for my “village,” I wouldn’t be where I am today, living my life to the fullest as a mother and a photographer. I promised myself that whenever I saw a mother in need, I would be there for her the same way my friends were there for me. The next time you are out of your house, I invite you to take a moment to look around. Ask yourself, “how can I help another mother today?” It can be as simple as giving someone a compliment or taking back someone’s cart at the store. One simple gesture a day will make a huge difference in both of your lives. Slowly but surely, you will see your village begin to grow.

My Motherhood Community Facebook Group

As a motherhood photographer, I have had many opportunities to meet such wonderful moms. When you hire me, my goal isn’t only to help capture memories for you, but also to connect on a human level. That is why I say that working with me is like photoshoots with a friend. During all stages of motherhood, I am there for you.

Many of my clients are now friends I get together with frequently. After making so many wonderful friendships through my business, I wanted to create another way for my amazing clients to meet each other as well. So I created a Facebook group for all the mothers I have met along the way.

My goal is to create a safe space where you can share your wins, ask questions, and even make plans to hang out with other moms. If that is something you would like to be a part of, you can visit my Motherhood Community Group on Facebook.